LocationsSisters in solidarity: Women must stand up for other women to end violence
November 27, 2024
For Sophie, years of abuse by her husband was compounded by the complicity of his female relatives.
As part of the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence, we’re sharing stories of survivors and those working to support them and to put a stop to abuse.
#NoExcuse. UNiTE to End Violence against Women
Sophie had endured years of fear and abuse by her husband before moving in with his family in Kigali. The move brought no respite. Even as the physical abuse escalated, his mother and sister subjected Sophie to verbal abuse, humiliation, and food deprivation. They mocked her appearance and threatened to take her children. One day, her husband beat her and threatened to kill her. She fled the home, leaving her children behind.
In my work as a photojournalist, I have interviewed dozens of women with stories like Sophie’s. Many of them face not only violence but also compounding challenges of silence, disbelief, rejection, or even outright collusion with the perpetrator by female relatives. Tragically, women sometimes enable gender-based violence against other women, especially when the perpetrator is a male relative or friend.
It goes without saying that those inflicting violence hold primary responsibility. Yet, if we are to end the epidemic of violence against women, we must adopt a whole-of-society approach and address the root causes—such as gender inequality and harmful social norms. Until then, their sisters, mothers, in-laws, and neighbours will continue to shoulder the burden of coming to their defence. When women show empathy for other women who experience violence, they form a powerful force against perpetrators and societal norms that condone or ignore such violence.
In Rwanda, violence against women is widespread. The Rwanda Demographic and Health Survey 2019-2020 reveals its extent. It found that 37 percent of women aged 15 to 49 have experienced physical violence. Yet, it is still challenging for women to report violence, as an estimated 40 percent of women who have been victims of physical or sexual violence have never sought help to stop the violence or shared their experiences with anyone.
In addition, family members and friends who know of the abuse often fail to report it or to stand up for the victim. Many reasons can push women to go against other women, including those who marry into their families. According to the report Access to Justice for Gender-Based Violence Victims, cultural and patriarchal stereotypes fuel violence against women in Rwanda and elsewhere. Some women may support abusive behaviour by male relatives as they are considered the heads of families. Other women may choose to remain silent about domestic abuse within their family due to financial dependence on male relatives.
"When women show empathy for other women who experience violence, they form a powerful force against perpetrators and societal norms that condone or ignore such violence."
In the aftermath of the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi, many women were in vulnerable situations. Many now live in severe poverty, orphaned and devoid of familial support. Some find comfort in the families they marry into, with no other safe shelters if they leave their husbands’ households.
Gender-based violence in Rwanda is also complicated by cultural acceptance of some forms of violence. For example, according to the Demographic and Health Survey 2019-20, half of women in Rwanda justify a husband's beating in at least one of five specific situations (burning food, going out without telling the husband, neglecting children or refusing sex). UNDP’s Gender Social Norms Index reveals a staggering one quarter of people worldwide believe it’s okay for a man to beat his wife. These attitudes can create an internal self-sustaining cycle of violence that continues for generations.
In another case, Angelique also suffered physical abuse from her husband. Her mother-in-law witnessed the beating and joined in with threats to take her child if she reported the husband. When Angelique finally fled, she left her daughter with her husband. The daughter was also abused physically and ran away from her father when she was 12 years old and never went back to school.
Sadly, such violence against women may result in death. Every ten minutes a woman is killed by an intimate partner or family member. Although the data on death by intimate partners in Rwanda are not open to the public, the Rwanda Broadcasting Agency reported that in just one year (2019), 49 women were killed by their husbands.
Rwanda has made important strides in fighting gender inequities at the legal, policy and institutional levels, but there's still much work to be done in terms of societal attitudes and cultural behaviours surrounding violence against women, as well as building women’s income-earning capacity and financial independence. Supporting women to access financial resources and job skills training can promote independence. This allows women to prioritize their safety and well-being and ensure they are not forced to stay in harmful situations due to a lack of options.
Women who offer support to other women, including those who join their families through marriage, can play a crucial role in ending the cycle of abuse. Although holding perpetrators accountable, regardless of their familial ties, may lead to the arrest of a family member, it can often save the lives of victims and ensure a safer and more equitable society for all. It is imperative to end impunity for perpetrators and ensure survivors can seek justice. Every woman matters.
In addition to her role at UNDP, Alice Kayibanda is a photojournalist and documentary photographer. She has spent a decade chronicling daily life in Rwanda. Through her visual storytelling, she sheds light on social issues and aims to foster empathy and understanding.
Ending gender-based violence and advancing gender equality are core priorities embedded in UNDP’s mandate through the Gender Equality Strategy. UNDP supports national partners in achieving the SDGs and creating a world where women and girls enjoy equal rights and live free from violence.
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