From Checklists to Connection: A Reflection on Being Led

By Munashe Mataranyika

January 29, 2025
a group of people posing for the camera

Munashe (Middle) with other fellows

UNDP Africa

It’s been a few months since the third cohort of the African Young Women Leaders (AfYWL) Programme gathered in Addis Ababa for our Leadership Training week. Now that the high has worn down and we are nearing the end of our fellowship program, it feels like the perfect time to reflect.  

“What does leadership mean?”  

That was one of the most-asked questions during the training. With 36 fellows and numerous facilitators and guest speakers, naturally, we each had a different definition. There was, however, one connecting theme – leadership is all about influence. That is, your ability to produce your desired effect on things and people outside yourself.  

I quite like this definition. In a way, it unifies almost every other interpretation, no matter how many you can think of. Say you define leadership as empowerment? Well, empowerment requires influence for it to be meaningful. Say it is about power? Sure, but power falls flat if its foundation is just intimidation. Whichever way you look at it, influence is a central element in what makes leadership work really well.  

Growing up, I had a slightly skewed definition of what leadership meant. Being the first-born daughter, I was constantly told to make sure I was setting a “good example” for my younger siblings. This good example had to show what a model daughter is supposed to look like, to set the standard, if you will. Everything from my grades and ambitions to my reputation was under evaluation; And the rubric? Well, nothing less than the best, of course. On its own, this is not inherently a bad thing, and I am grateful for my upbringing that pushed me to always challenge myself, hold myself to high standards, and believe I can do whatever I set my mind to. However, it did create in me the sense that good leadership was seen in the number of impressive things you do for others to emulate. 

That’s not a very healthy perception of leadership because it breeds a craving for external validation and a constant chase of “the best” from some imaginary checklist that you can never exhaust. It can also drive an unhealthy comparison with others and lead to a never-ending cycle of imposter syndrome because there will always be someone else doing something new, innovative, and more impressive. 

So, how then can we answer the question, “what does leadership mean?” in a wholesome way? As I reflected, I realized that perhaps a more transformative question is “what does it feel like to be led?”  

If we consider moments when we have felt deeply inspired, motivated or influenced, it allows us to see leadership as more than mere motivational jargon but as a sincere, tangible, and relatable experience. 

When Ambassador Jainaba Jagne(link is external) inspired us with her beautifully long and rich history of the journey she has undertaken and the barriers she has broken, seemingly being a woman who can do it all, I felt led. While I also felt led by the ease with which Dr. Jide Okeke(link is external) reminded us that while you can have it all, you do not need to, and giving me permission to discard the imaginary checklist.  

Ms. Ahunna Eziakonwa(link is external) unknowingly reiterated these sentiments, telling us not to worry about having numerous interests and skills because our areas of focus will become clearer the more we grow into ourselves and our careers.  

I felt led in the moment when our facilitators, Chiedza(link is external) and Edwick(link is external), reflected on their roles as mothers and the simultaneous honor and burden it is to know that one day someone might speak of them as having been their life’s role model; And by seeing Kuda(link is external) and Tatiana(link is external) do more than just coordinate and organize the workshop but be present and relatable humans, also needing support and understanding.  

I could go on and on about the conversations with inspiring guests, like Dr. Samuel Doe(link is external), Ambassador Hanna Tetteh(link is external) and the sisters from the cohort above us that left an imprint on me. But perhaps above all, I felt led by the brilliant and intelligent women in this third cohort sisterhood who shared their wisdom, pain, and ideas with vulnerability, pride, and care.   

In all these moments, I felt led when I connected to the person behind the “leader”. Ultimately, it was not their impressive list of accolades that moved me, it was who they were and how they validated our brilliance and humanity. They gave me a peak into the vulnerabilities and wisdom that a checklist never captures and reminded me that being a leader stems from my identity and not my achievements. They prompted me to look deep within myself and derive value and meaning from that. They led me. 

In the world of elaborate LinkedIn posts and corporate speak (which are not intrinsically wrong), one can easily get lost in the external validation of proving just how much of a leader you look like; but that should not be the goal.  

When all is said and done, leadership should be less about the aesthetics of impact and influence and more about how we made the people around us feel. I truly believe that we can only replicate that feeling of being led if we are able to identify it within ourselves. 

So, now if you ask me, “what does leadership mean?” I’ll tell you, “It is the ability to make others feel led” and I hope to be able to lead someone else to say the same. 

Munashe Mataranyika is an African Young Women Leaders Fellow from Zimbabwe with UNDP Rwanda. She has a Master’s in International Policy, specializing in Governance and Development. She has a keen interest in all things social justice, politics, and democracy, and how they interact with governance.